It is my responsibility to create my life. I have the power to make changes or to not. HOPE CAN BE BORN, because I allow it to be.
Growing up in a constant state of "fight or flight" has conditioned my body and my brain to feel normal when stressed.
I fight so desperately to heal, from what, I'm not sure. I just always knew, I felt broken. Through my attempts to heal I have learned there is not a finite point in one's life where, bam, you're healed. And although that is a very hard concept for my type A brain to process, it has become a building block throughout my healing journey. The healing process is and will always be forever changing, rebuilding and remolding, which is both my biggest nightmare and my biggest relief. It makes me HOPEful that I will heal.
One of my biggest challenges is to stay present in my moments. With mindfulness meaning to be aware of the present experience, with acceptance, that means I cannot judge and I have to turn off my thoughts. What!?!? That is next to impossible! I believe that if I am not being stressed, there is always more I can be doing. Remember, my brain is conditioned to think stress is normal. Taking on the task to live a more mindful life has given me a lot of Hope that I do not need to be stressed to think I am living up to my fullest potential.
I remind myself that to be mindful doesnt mean to sit in the dark, with no noises, and humming. It is a personal journey. For me it is not periods of formal practice, rather becoming mindful as a way of life is how I practice mindfulness. (At the end of this article you will find links to recommended Mindfulness literature and resources to get one started on their own personal mindfulness journey.)
To create who I am I realize, now, is an ongoing process. I remind myself, I am not my past, my history is not my destiny. Whatever got me to today, got me to today, and all I have guaranteed is, today.
Martin Buber is a master of living in the present. He says a way to tell yourself if you are being present is ask yourself:
1. Are you engaging in true I/Thou relationships?
2. Are you allowing meaning to exist in situations?
3. Are you being responsible for you here and now?
To Buber I/Thou means to not make a mistake of reducing relationships to mere objects. It is important to have I/It relationships in everyday life, however relationships that have meaning and purpose in your life must be looked upon with positive mutual respect.
Reducing meaningful relationships to mere objects can rob an individual of purpose and presence in their own life.
See the beauty in others and add to that beauty, in turn, beauty will be brought to your life.
Read more on Martin Buber’s thoughts on HOPE in his BOOK.